The art of self-acceptance in pursuit of perfection

In a time that is characterized by constant optimization and the pressure to improve self-improvement, many people are confronted with the expectation of having to get the best out of themselves at all times. Social norms, media role models and countless advisors suggest that happiness and success can only be achieved through continuous work on one’s own personality and one’s own bodyare reach. However, this striving for an ideal state often leads to frustration and a guilty conscience when the set goals are not achieved. The following text sheds light on this topic from a personal perspective and shows that acceptance of one’s own imperfections can be an equally important step on the way to a satisfied life. it goesto stop the fight against one’s own nature and to appreciate life in its current form without completely excluding the possibility of minor adjustments. This consideration places individual experience in a larger context and invites you to meet your own standards with more indulgence.

The tranquility of the landscape as a mirror of the soul

The thoughts on this topic often mature in the tranquility of a certain landscape, such as that can be found in Lusatia, for example. Here, between ponds and old pine forests, time sometimes seems to pass slower than in the hectic metropolises elsewhere. The people in this region know the value of permanence and have learned to live with what nature and thegive them fate. In this environment, it becomes clear that life is not always a project that you have to successfully complete, but a process you can experience. The wide horizons of the Lausitz invite you to broaden your own perspective and view your own worries as part of a larger whole. So the personal reflection becomes a general oneKnowledge that extends far beyond the limits of your own four walls and is valid.

Insight into one’s own limits and imperfections

Once you have realized that there is nothing in this life with the idealized dream figure, you can also accept a few other things at the same time. For example, I will probably not only carry a little tummy around with me forever, I will not become the person who can be described as neat in this lifetime. I will never be furthermanage to get the tax return done in good time or to get the gifts for the festival of love in good time. It looks like I won’t get rid of the cigarette with my girlfriend Jana in late, drunk nights either, although I know about the risks. Yes, I know this is harmful to health, but the habit is deeply rooted and is not easyDelete with willpower. There has always been a list of characteristics and behaviors that I want to change and that keep me busy.

Dealing with partners, children and animals

Much to the chagrin of my partner L., that also included some of his qualities and behaviors that I would have liked to have modified. Only dog and child were excluded from my will to improve because they represent their own beings with their own rights. The dog is exempt from such plans for reasons of renouncing unteachability, since it is not responsible for humanideas of order are interested. The child is also excluded because it is called upbringing in him and this is on a completely different sheet of life planning. I was always sure sometime in the future and if I just put in enough effort, I would be the way I would like it to. I would go to yoga or pilates regularly and my groceries on the marketShop to live healthy.

The vision of an ideal life

The bookshelf in the study would no longer look as if someone had thrown a ton of books in there from a distance of three meters. Before Christmas I would be in a good mood and would sing and bake cookies with the child instead of getting stressed out. In an online platform, I would look at how to decorate Christmas parcel with self-collected pine cones to make itto make perfect. At some point that’s how it is, I often think to myself, and imagine this future in the most beautiful colors. This is about the same time L. and I spend so-called valuable time together in the evenings, during which he tells me frantic romantic things. I would then laugh embarrassed and tell him he was a scoundrel because we were in the restaurant and someone could hear us.

The Metaphor of the Caterpillar and the Butterfly

That’s how it would be and that’s my real life, which I rhyme together in my dreams. Until then, I’ll be muddled through everyday life and try to make the best of the situation. I’m basically the caterpillar insatiable, which still eats its way through life before the transformation comes. Someday I’ll be a beautiful butterfly, but until then I’ll eatme through a tart, an apple and a cheese sandwich. This is the classic if-then trap we are all in and drives us even though it remains unreachable. If I’m only or have something specific at first, then we think and postpone happiness until tomorrow.

The social pressure to change

You always see this person in front of you who you could be if you just try enough, but you can’t really get it. Although society, women’s magazines and guides postulate that you can do anything if you make the right effort. But that’s not true and it’s an illusion that’s constantly being kept in front of us to help usmotivate. Take a look around and look at the people around you, all of whom are wrestling with their own fights. All caterpillars are waiting to transform, but the transformation often stays out or looks different than expected. And during this caterpillar existence we have a bad conscience that accompanies us like a faithful shadow.

The bad conscience and the turn of the year

Already wasted the afternoon on the net, smoked, ate a slice of a million calories and did not do abdominal muscle exercises. The pine cones are also missing and maybe I can get some from a clothing store to keep the appearance. And then it’s the turn of the year again, and with the balance sheet of the last year we have no other caterpillarsleft than getting terribly drunk. We ask each other if someone has a cigarette and share the guilty conscience in the smoky air. It is a dilemma from which there is no easy escape as long as we hold on to the illusion of perfection. On the other hand, I was allowed to experience that if you actually pull yourself together, at least in a very small wayto match the image of yourself, it can fail.

The failure of the staged idyll

When you cycle to the weekly market with a pretty wicker basket on the handlebars, it usually starts to rain and spoils the mood. The dog leash gets caught in the spokes and the fucking wicker basket tilts, which immediately destroys the order again. All the healthy stuff disappears under a parked mobile home and is lost forever, just like the good mood. And even ifIf no catastrophe comes in, it somehow feels completely different than you imagined and hoped for. It just has nothing to do with yourself and acts like a role you play but cannot fill. I felt the same way during the lucky project when I tried to enjoy the little things as prescribed.

The role models from the magazines

When I hear that, I think out of the cuff of this photo, which is shown in all women’s magazines as soon as it’s about doing something good for yourself. A bathtub, tea lights and rose petals on the edge, in it a person with pinned hair, who is relently lolling in the bubble bath. Underneath it says in what you have to swim in, that’s usually some kind ofLavender Aloe Ecological Herb Butter Oil That is Sold Dear. It is said to have a moisturizing and deeply relaxing effect so that you feel like a new person when you get out of the water. After I’m quite receptive to such pictures, the next day I’m standing in a pretty little shop where bottles are cavorting. There are colorful liquids, salts and balls inAll the colors that promise all relaxation and beauty.

Shopping for the perfect bathroom

I opt for a face mask and an oil bath with a rose scent that will make my skin imperfections baby-soft, as promised. I also take a natural sponge with me to increase the peeling effect and cleanse the skin. Once I sit in the tub, I can express it in the neck to intensify the scent. Even get rose petalsI, it should be exactly as I have it in my head and how it looked in the picture. On Sunday evening the time has come and I’m preparing everything so that nothing is left to chance. I have a meeting with myself, that’s what we call wellness specialists who want to take time for themselves.

The preparation of relaxation

I put a magazine on the shelf, where the hair-wash bottles are also, and distribute tea lights and rose petals on the edge of the bathtub. I let the steaming water mixed with rose oil to make it smell and relax. Unfortunately, it doesn’t foam, it smells quite good and looks very pretty, just as planned. I climb into the tub with my hair upLie around a bit and drive your arms and legs up and down with the natural sponge. But that’s only fun for a short time, because reality catches up with me quickly and disturbs the idyll. I start the magazine and start leafing with narrowed eyes, since tea lights don’t make as much light as you think.

The accident takes its course

I accidentally bump one of them onto the floor with my elbow and the bath rug is now full of wax. At least he didn’t catch fire, which is a little consolation in this predicament. I lie down with relief, but as the hair clips are drilling into my back of my head, I notice how the body parts are cold. The parts that are not in the warm waterCool off quite quickly and that becomes uncomfortable for the body. I give in to the urge to dip an arm in the water to warm it up again and relieve the unease. The wet hand immediately moistens the right part of the magazine, so that it can no longer be leafed through and the conversation ends.

The disappointment about the result

It’s getting cooler in the water and I don’t think the company is really relaxing until now, I think to myself. I push a few shriveled rose petals into the water so that it at least looks a bit decorative. Then it gets quite exciting, because you have ever tried to get bath oil out of your hair. You can get your head with a hair wash three timesWash, it still looks like you’re taking part in the greasy hair competition. And they would even win because the oil just doesn’t want to go away and smears everything. If you then get out of the tub and really get going with a towel on your head, you can continue right away.

The tedious cleaning afterwards

Try to remove the oil film, in which all her shaved leg hair stubble sticks, from the edge of the bathtub, which is tedious. And don’t be alarmed by the bloody patches all over your body that突然出现 are. These are just the mushy rose petals that can bump their skin and cause minor injuries. I have never come out of the bathroom so annoyed and theRelaxation was a complete failure. It’s out of my skin, but I’m not and never will be the old lady in the bathtub. I’m also not the one with the lovingly wrapped Christmas gifts who organized everything perfectly.

The desire for profound change

And so it is with deeper changes, so if you not only want to bathe now, but want to be more successful, for example. Maybe you want to be more positive or maybe you prefer to be extroverted, so somehow you become seriously different than you are. An entire industry lives from this need and offers a weekend course for every unloved weakness, which helpsfor example, if you want to be a fascinating personality, it costs two hundred and thirty-nine euros and can be obtained in just one weekend. This is done using highly effective methods, if you have already wondered how this works and whether it is true. Have you ever been in a course or in a course or a time-out, perhaps to develop yourself?

The experience with further training offers

Or in a weekend intensive course with something to develop and improve in some form personally. I have been to many, mostly for research purposes, and not always have I successfully completed or learned something. If it were up to the number of courses I attended, I would have to think positively and be filthy rich a long time ago. I would be non-violentand I would have met my guardian angel in person if it would work. Some of these courses haven’t grown on my own crap, like the Guardian Angel thing or communicating nonviolently. But I am always happy to be there, but more out of interest than need, to see what happens there.

The reality of the course participants

However, those who play with the idea of attending such a course because they feel that something is wrong in their own soul should leave it alone. You only meet sad people there and there is far too much crying instead of finding solutions. Most participants go to such projects regularly and are true experts in their favorite subject area. I canare wrong, but if these courses worked to the inner cheer, then the permanent participants there would cry significantly less. Instead, they would dance more and show joy instead of discussing the same problems over and over again. An introverted, shy person does not become a roaring personality even after an intensive course.

The Limits of Personality Development

Thickness from the computer science department does not become a beguiling womanizer through a professional tear-open course, however much he wishes it. An extremely sympathetic shaman, where I once attended a course on the subject of the inner power animal, said that almost all participants were concerned with a lack of self-esteem. But most people have a more or less lack of self-esteemPeople I’ve met. Actually, everyone I know, except maybe a well-known personality and my friend Ole, who has no problem with that. Whatever weakness it may be, in all likelihood it remains with us and does not disappear through a course. We’re not going to be butterflies, as much as we hope we are, and we need to learn to accept that.

Accept life as a caterpillar

This sausage is the real life and not just a precursor to something better. This completely imperfect life with its insecurities and full bookshelves, the pounds and the tired sex life, is being lived right now. It has been lived this way for some time and it cannot be stopped or reversed. Es lo que hay, That’s what there is, they sayin Spain, as if life were a plate of soup that someone puts on the table. All the more fascinating are the stories of people who have really turned things around and can’t be put down despite a terrible stroke of fate. This gives us a bit of hope that you can actually achieve anything if you just put in the effort and fight.

The hope versus the biological reality

Presumably for this reason, such stories are always said to encourage and inspire. However, it has now been found that people return to their normal state of life satisfaction after a certain period of time. This seems to be within us and a biological mechanism that we cannot control.This applies to both directions, whether car accident or gambling win, the mood settles. Finally come to terms with it and accept that you can’t do it all if you put in the right effort. But not just you, no one else can achieve everything they want.

Things Without Influence

There are just a whole bunch of things that you have almost no influence over and that you have to accept. There are losses that will always hurt and no method in the world can completely heal that. Depression is often chronic and incurable, and some people have a tendency to use drugs or partners that are as stimulating as they are unhealthy. In addition, we cannotFamily members still change our partners and certainly not our boss or work colleagues. Life is also sometimes unfair and quite often an asshole, and you won’t be able to change that either. As much as you wish that your own mother was more or the boss less or you yourself were somehow him, it will not happen.

The list of impossible wishes

Nevertheless, some of these impossible desires are at the top of our list of things we want to achieve. Maybe if we put in more effort, dig more into the past, better understand why we are like this, it will get better. But this is a fallacy that only further misleads us and distracts us from the present. Look at it, I had toalso realise that you cannot change others without extreme measures. In order to change L., and I don’t mean that he throws his socks into the laundry basket instead of spreading them around the bed like a magic sock compass, I would already have to operate on his frontal lobe. I shy away from that and prefer to let it go, because it’s not worth the effort.

The painful insight of acceptance

Seriously, it doesn’t help and you have to accept that you are who you are and that your own possibilities are limited. This not only means that there are no pine cones on my Christmas presents, but also, and that is the somewhat more painful insight. I will not be the open, curious, fun-loving and sociable person who would like to be andthat I admire. No matter how uncomfortable it is when someone asks me what I like to do in my free time, the ideal answer is often a lie. The statement that I like to play tennis and sometimes go sailing with friends on Sundays, I help on a voluntary basis at the animal shelter, attend the Italian III adult education course, is wrong. The part, too, but I’m also happy to be alone in my hipLiving space and then read the works of world literature, then I like to meet my numerous friends for a vegetable bread, is not true.

The truth about your free time

I have to say that in my free time I like to wear comfortable pants and stay at home instead of going out. I’m not particularly interested in meeting new people, I find the nerve-wracking enough I know and like. I don’t even like going on vacation, because at home it’s the most beautiful and relaxed for me. As I said, I like to be in comfortable pants at home andThat’s a fact I don’t want to deny. I’m the way I am, and I don’t change anything about the basics and the basic features of others three times. But I can stop putting myself under pressure or feeling bad because I’m one way or the other and not the way I’d like it to.

The focus on what is feasible

I can let the things that I can’t change anyway, get past the ass and concentrate on what I can and can do. Instead of wishing that difficult parents would change, you might learn to establish a peaceful relationship with the difficult parents. Instead of feeling bad all the time, because your own life is not with happiness andFilling love would be a realistic goal to be proud of it. You can be proud of how you can manage and master life despite all the obstacles. And that’s why the day after a fun night out on an alcohol and cigarettes, I don’t have a bad conscience anymore, I have peace with myself. I don’t think so, sir, my smoke again, that I just wouldn’t let it goI can, but I enjoy the evening and I agree with myself.

A new way of dealing with yourself

I make sure that doesn’t get out of hand, and that’s a sensible way of dealing with my habits. Instead of the common I want to love myself more, I’d rather say I find the commitment I’m doing for my well-being is really remarkable. If you understand that self-improvement has its limits, then you can learn how to best deal with and live with these limits. thatIt’s much more effective than constantly howling that it doesn’t work with certain things that you can’t control. Certain things can be left in the ass and concentrate on the essentials. What it doesn’t work with and what you have a lot less influence than you think, but the feeling that you should have an influence on it, is income.

The list of uncontrollable things

It also feels like you like to stay at home in comfortable pants instead of being active as expected. The fact that Mutti finally prevails against dad is not in our hands and cannot be forced. What other people think or feel about you is their business and not our responsibility or task. That you can’t stop hating certain things orlove is an emotional fact to assume. The relationship status that you are introverted, control over the problem of certain things that your partner is a workaholic is further examples. The fact that the brother has an addiction problem and the children develop differently than planned is also part of it and must be carried.

The exemption by acceptance

Isn’t that incredibly nice, this idea that you don’t have to improve anything and just be allowed to be. No overcoming, no kicking in the ass, no expectations and no I-must-be-better-better-better-and-I-have-change. Because we don’t have to and that is a liberating knowledge for anyone who internalizes them. It will be and caterpillars are wonderful animals that alsohave a value without transformation. We can accept ourselves as we are, and that is the biggest step to satisfaction. Life in Lusatia and everywhere else teaches us that consistency is often worth more than constant change.