Why I don’t want to do after-work events anymore

In today’s working world, so-called after-work events have become an integral part. It is common for colleagues to sit together in bars or restaurants after a long and often exhausting day at work to end the day relaxed. For many, this is an opportunity to leave everyday work behind, social contactscare or just have a little fun. But for me personally, a completely different attitude has developed over the years. I always see these events as a kind of senseless burden that actually has nothing to do with what I imagine a real end to the working day. That’s why I would like to describe today why I am aware of thisI decided not to take part in such events in the future, and why I personally find this to be the right decision for me personally. It is a development that is probably understood by many who have the desire to really organize their own free time for themselves without being caught in the constraints and expectations of social and professional norms.be

The original meaning of after work and leisure time

When I think of the end of a long working day, completely different pictures come to mind. For me, after work, the end of the day means leaving the workplace behind and immersing yourself in your own world. This can mean going home, relaxing in your own four walls, putting your feet up, preparing a good meal or just enjoying the peace and quiet.These are moments when I want to switch off to recharge my batteries for the coming days. For me, this is the time I want to surround myself with my loved ones, whether it’s a leisurely dinner, a walk in the park or playing with my children. All these things are for me the real activities that make my end of the day because they give me joy, relaxationand make you feel like you’re coming back to myself. But this idea is increasingly being replaced by another one that has hardly to do with the original meaning of the end of the day.

The emergence of the so-called after-work events

A few years ago, it became fashionable in most companies to organize so-called after-work parties. These meetings usually took place before the actual end of the day, often from half past six in the evening, and were designed with small appetizers and drinks. These events were developed primarily for people who were active in creative, modern industries, such asAdvice, advertising or media. The idea behind this was to promote team spirit, to intensify the exchange between employees and to strengthen cooperation outside of the normal workplace. It was propagated that if you were eating and drinking together, you would have the opportunity to get to know your colleagues better, exchange information and exchange problemsto discuss in a relaxed atmosphere. The aim was to improve internal communication without burdening working hours and at the same time promoting cohesion in the team. These events were considered a kind of modern, relaxed alternative to classic team building measures.

The reality behind the seemingly relaxed meetings

In practice, however, reality was usually very different. Many of the meetings were characterized by a rather depressed atmosphere, because the participants were often only reluctant to take part in the events. Some were offended because they were only informed shortly before and felt excluded afterwards, others came reluctantly because they were actuallystill had family commitments that they didn’t want to neglect. There were also those who just didn’t feel like going into an unusual atmosphere and therefore appeared in a bad mood or found the location to be boring. Especially one particular person who kept appearing in this context was Mechthild, who was known for her brittle nature.Most of those present were rather at a loss, didn’t really know why they were here at all, and spent most of their time eating the appetizers or ignoring each other. It was an event that hardly achieved the desired effect, but rather gave the impression that the focus here was more on duty than real joy.

The unexpected: the turning point

But then something unexpected happened that changed everything. It was one of those situations where you can actually only shake your head. The colleague named Detlef, who initiated these meetings, decided to hire a new managing director. However, this new boss immediately showed his worst side, behaved disrespectfully, arrogantly and thoughtlesslyTo almost everyone in the team. His way of dealing with the staff was so disrespectful that most of them gave a deep grudge. Instead of promoting team cohesion, this situation welded him together because everyone shared the anger, frustration and displeasure about the new boss. It was a situation that looked very bad at first glance, butIn a strange way, she led to a kind of community forming. It was an old saying that is repeatedly mentioned in such moments, and he was here: The happiness of a place depends on someone who can hate everyone. It was amazing to see how the mood in the team changed. Suddenly some employees met regularlyWorking in a small bar to let off steam together, share the frustration and support each other. These meetings became a kind of refuge where you could get rid of the tension without being in open confrontation with the boss. I was there at the time, full of enthusiasm and full of anger, and somehow felt like I was in the group through this joint rejectionintegrated. But over time I realized that this kind of gathering was just a short-term solution. The mood began to change and I wondered why I should be so upset about it so much if I didn’t get any money for it and didn’t change the situation. These thoughts came to me during one of those evenings and I realized that weactually only had one common passion: scolding. It was a common occupation that had connected us all, but at the same time also showed how little we really connected with each other. Only Mechthild and Markus, who came closer together after the second gin, were the exception. Over time, I became less and less interested in these meetings, because the beginnings thatwere actually long gone. It was finally over for me when I realized that these meetings primarily served to get each other’s frustration off their souls without creating sustainable solutions.

The hard core remains true – but for me it’s over

The so-called hard core, the group of those who regularly and loyally sat together in the small bar, has survived to this day. They have made it a kind of institution where everyone knows when and where the meetings will take place. All of this may still have a certain appeal for this group, but for me personally it has become completely irrelevant. I want after theNo more time to spend work in bars to gossip about the colleagues or the boss. I just want to go home, leave everyday life behind me, strip off the stress of everyday life and enjoy the moment with my loved ones. For me, this means ending the day and entering your own four walls in peace to find the peace that I miss so much in everyday life. I wantNo superficial conversations, no conversations about work, no clapping about colleagues. It has become a conscious decision for me to avoid this type of event because I realized that they didn’t do me any good, but on the contrary only create unnecessary stress and frustration. I want to design my free time in such a way that I really enjoy itAnd relaxed, instead of losing myself in senseless conversations and superficial encounters.

Trying to refuse

Until recently, I kept trying to find an excuse why I couldn’t attend such events. I’ve persuaded myself that I don’t feel like I don’t have time or that I just don’t feel like this kind of society. I hoped that one day nobody would ask questions and I could find my peace like this. But this hope hasproven deceptive. The same question always came up: “Today is Friday! You know what that means, right?” Most of my colleagues, especially Sandra from the accounting department, were really excited when it came to these meetings and could hardly wait to be able to persuade me to do so. While I tried to answer with a friendly but specific tone that Iwould not come, but it didn’t help much. The invitation was renewed again and again and I could only reluctantly refuse. I just wanted to be calm and realize my own plans. But I realized that I couldn’t hide behind excuses. Next time someone asks again if I want to come with me, I’ll just say clearly: “No, thanks, II don’t want to.” It’s amazing how much easier life can be if you have the courage to set clear boundaries and not let yourself be influenced by social pressure. It is a conscious decision for me to organize my free time in such a way that it really brings me joy and no longer waste it in pointless events that only make me unhappydo

Take your own life into your own hands

Ultimately, I realized for myself that it is important to know what is good for you and what is not. It’s about setting your own limits and having the courage to comply with them. It is not a sign of weakness when you oppose the pressure of society or the working environment, but rather an act of self-respect. For me, that means none in the futureto attend events that are only used to maintain superficial contacts or to share the frustration. Instead, I want to consciously organize my free time in order to really enjoy it. It is a liberating feeling to remain true to yourself and to clearly define your own priorities. After all, life is too short to waste it on things thatbring nothing or just make you unhappy. It is time to take your own needs seriously and lead life as best suited to you.