The everyday parenting in the area of tension between uncertainties and advice

Being a parent is an experience that interferes deeply with the everyday life and life of a person. Once the first child is born, a journey full of uncertainties, questions and challenges begins. This time is characterized by a feeling of being overwhelmed, but also by great love and the desire to do everything right. At the same time, advice, opinions and opinions incessantly appearDisagreements that make the whole thing even more complicated. The following text describes the typical situations, the constant back and forth between one’s own beliefs and the opinions of the environment, and how parents try to find their way in this jungle of recommendations and expectations.

The constant companion: the well-intentioned advice

Once the child is born, there seems to be some reassurance: You’re doing everything wrong anyway, everything you do or refrain from is somehow wrong. But despite this mental shield, you are never really alone with your questions and uncertainties. There are a variety of people who are at your side and with well-intentioned advice and tipstry to point the right way. These helpers range from acquaintances, friends and relatives who have children themselves, to people who have no children but still impose their opinion. They are willing to help, no matter what the topic is. However, each of these themes is a minefield zone at the same time, full of emotional pitfallsand different opinions. The topic of breastfeeding or bottles is just one example that immediately causes heated discussions, because everyone has their own experience and convictions that they represent vehemently. The topic of weaning, the sleeping habits, external care, upbringing, the re-entry into the profession or vaccination – Opinions lurk everywhere, which are mutuallyput shadow. Everyone defends their point of view based on their world view and their experiences, and there are about as many views as people in the world.

Different opinions – a minefield full of beliefs

What makes it even more complicated: No opinion is just a mere view, but is often expressed with conviction as if it were the only truth. The only problem is that hardly anyone can really stay out of the situation. Parents have to constantly adapt to situations and make decisions about which they sometimes ask themselves whetherthey did everything right. Today’s knowledge is only a guide, because even the then highly acclaimed advisors from decades ago are often full of outdated and sometimes even contradictory recommendations. In the past, it was considered right to give infants as little closeness and attention as possible so that they became strong and independent. The theory was, shout andCrying would strengthen the lungs, and a rich, wrapped baby could easily spend the night alone. Many mothers who had no other choice at the time had to follow these outdated advice, although they secretly felt that there was another way. My own mother, for example, who almost bursts into tears today when she sees me cuddling with my child,Because she forbade herself back then to spoil her babies. It was just not customary for her to treat the little ones too tenderly because that’s how you had learned it. In short, it is a great challenge for parents to form their own opinion, and most of them try to make the most of their situation. But then the so-called Schlauberger, who are only too happy toGive knowledge from books, internet forums or advice and try to impose your point of view.

Dealing with well-intentioned advice

So that your own nerves are not completely torn, because your eyes jump into your head because of the rolls of your eyes or you even develop a grudge against the advisors, it helps to always remember that most people mean well. Your well-intentioned advice is often an expression of helpless friendliness because you don’t know how to otherwise share your sympathy,show their love or support. It’s not always just know-it-all or lack of trust in the skills of the young parents, but sometimes just a form of uncertainty that manifests itself in well-intentioned tips. In order to protect yourself from the exaggerations of the advisors, it is advisable to use the moment to ask specific questions thatactually cause difficulties. For example, if the baby has a stuffy nose and can’t sleep, or screams when she gets dressed, then you can ask for tips. There might be helpful advice that really helps. One of my favorite methods is still: “Here, stop!” – because if you have a baby on your lap, you stop immediately,to deal with theoretical lectures and instead lovingly makes “gutziguuuuu”. This is the cutest antidote to the flood of the advisors there is.

The group that you can safely ignore

However, there is also a group of people that I consciously and with a certain pity will pass by: those who say, “We didn’t have them back then, you don’t need them either.” What an argument! I just don’t understand how you can come up with such an idea. I first heard it when I bought a diaper bucket. This device has a folding mechanism,which should prevent you from being able to smell as soon as you enter the apartment, whether the child has already shit or not. A brilliant invention for me, to be honest. But on the first visit of Aunt Marta, who saw the whole thing, the sentence came: “There wasn’t such nonsense in the past, and it worked.” I was speechless at first. How can you come up with such an idea? would be auntMarta probably was there when someone invented the wheel, she would probably have said: “We weren’t that fast, no one needs a new invention for all the stuff!” Or: “Roll! As if wearing were so bad!” And then still: “How are all the squares supposed to be like that now?” I understood nothing. For me it was clear: There is no reason to think about the scent of thediaper to argue as long as the baby is healthy. But Marta didn’t give up and proudly talked about her hip surgery. She had a new hip because the old one was through, talking about a special material made of double-hardened cobalt chrome. Just at that moment I took a sip of coffee and then said calmly: “There wasn’t such a nonsense in the past, andIt worked too.” That probably offended my aunt a bit. But to be honest, I don’t listen to such nonsense just because someone thinks they know everything better.

Technology and tradition through the ages

A few weeks ago I met a former classmate who is now four months pregnant. She recently bought a so-called “Angelsound”, an ultrasound fetal Doppler device that can be used at home to hear the heartbeat of the unborn baby. When she told me about it, I could hardly do anything else than say: “So something like that was happening to me at the timenot.” That was my first mistake. Because I once again realized how rapidly the technology has developed in parenthood. In the past, people were waiting for the ultrasound pictures at the doctor’s, heard the heartbeat and were happy. Today, parents can do all this themselves in their own four walls and feel even safer. But despite all the technical gimmicksYou should always remind yourself that these devices are only a supplement. You can never replace the experience when you hold your child in your arms and love it. The connection between tradition and innovation is exciting to observe, and it shows how much the ideas about parenting have changed in recent decades. Nevertheless, the most important remainsExperience the love you give to your child, whether with or without technical support.