When the Baby Will Not Turn: A Calm and Thorough Guide for Expecting Parents Facing Breech Presentation, Birth Choices, and the First Months of Parenthood

The final weeks of a pregnancy represent a period filled with eager anticipation for expecting parents, yet they are equally marked by a stream of small worries, unanswered questions, and the quiet anxiety that accompanies the approach of something wholly unknown. Among the most common situations that can arise from the last trimester onward is the so-called breech presentation, in which the child does not lie head-down but instead rests with its bottom pointing toward the birth canal. For many mothers and fathers, this discovery feels deeply unsettling at first, as though something has gone wrong or as though the carefully imagined plan for the birth has suddenly collapsed. Yet in the overwhelming majority of cases, there is no genuine cause for alarm, and the situation resolves itself naturally or can be addressed through gentle, well-established methods. This article aims to provide expecting fathers and mothers with a comprehensive overview of what they can do in such a situation, why composure matters so greatly, and how they can prepare themselves mentally not only for the birth itself but also for the demanding and beautiful period that follows.

Entering a Gentle Dialogue with the Unborn Child

When the child has decided to remain in the breech position within the womb, the parents can begin, from the thirty-fourth week of pregnancy onward, to engage in a tender and loving dialogue with their baby. The aim is never to apply pressure or force but rather to offer friendly encouragement and gentle suggestions so that the child slowly turns its head downward toward the birth canal. A well-tried method involves placing a small torch against the lower area of the abdomen, because many babies follow the beam of light with curiosity and move in its direction. The father, particularly if he has spoken and communicated regularly with the child during the preceding months, can use his hands to stroke gently in the direction in which the baby should turn. Before the parents attempt any such techniques, they should work together with the midwife to palpate and discuss the exact position of the child, ensuring that they guide the baby along the easiest possible path rather than an impossible one.

The Father’s Role in Promoting Movement and Relaxation

An important task for the father during this phase is to encourage the mother to engage in regular movement and to strengthen her resolve to stay active. Prolonged sitting on the sofa or extended car journeys should be avoided as much as possible, because these postures can lead to tension and narrowing in the pelvic region, making it additionally difficult for the child to turn. Instead, it is advisable to squat on the floor, to take regular walks, and to practise pregnancy yoga extensively, with calm and deep breathing playing a particularly important role. A visit to an osteopath, continued regular swimming, and anything else that brings the mother relaxation can also support the turning process. The father should accompany and promote these activities actively, for instance by suggesting shared walks or by creating the necessary calm and space in daily life so that the mother can rest and move freely.

Understanding Why Some Children Remain in Breech Position

There are various reasons why some children do not turn into the desired birth position. In certain cases, purely physical causes are responsible, for example because the shape of the uterus or the structure of the pelvis simply does not permit the child to assume a different orientation. Tension in the muscles of the mother’s pelvic region can also prevent a turn, and stress plays a particularly significant role here, as it amplifies such muscular tightness considerably. Furthermore, it is repeatedly discussed whether the emotional state of the mother exerts an influence, because many children do eventually turn when the mother is given the genuine opportunity to relax and let go. A stable partnership in which important matters have been clarified can make a valuable contribution, and it is advisable to seek support in order to resolve any lingering disagreements during the final stretch before the birth.

The Protective Power of a Reliable Partner

Scientific studies have established that a dependable partner on whom the pregnant woman can truly rely reduces her stress most effectively and thereby creates the best possible conditions for a spontaneous turn. However, it is equally important not to drive oneself to distraction and not to fall into a stubborn pressure to relax, because feelings of guilt or exaggerated effort can prove counterproductive. Some things are simply beyond the control of parents, and that reality must be accepted with grace. The good news is that most children do eventually turn into the correct position, some of them only very shortly before the birth begins. Parents should therefore remain as calm as possible, because tension and stress hinder the turning process rather than promoting it.

Maintaining Composure and Seeking Guidance

For fathers, it is especially important during this waiting period to radiate composure and to preserve a sense of confidence, even when the situation feels deeply uncertain. Any father who struggles with this should not hesitate to seek support, whether through conversation with other fathers or through consultation with professionals such as the midwife. It helps enormously to have the position of the baby explained clearly and to learn what options the parents have at their disposal. In the end, no one knows with absolute certainty what moves a child either to remain in place or to turn at the last moment. There are various techniques from the art of midwifery, such as specific body postures, the warming of particular acupuncture points on the little toe through moxibustion, or classical acupuncture, that can favour a turn.

The Medical Option of External Version

The medical team also has its own possibilities and can attempt a so-called external version from the thirty-seventh week of pregnancy onward, in which the child is turned from the outside through targeted manual pressure applied to the mother’s abdomen. This procedure succeeds in roughly half of all cases and should always be performed by experienced specialist staff in a clinical setting. If the child nevertheless remains in the breech position, it presumably has its reasons, and many parents find that they can release the topic with the passage of time. Sometimes the child turns precisely at the moment when the parents have finally relaxed, which can be an amusing experience, because the by now substantial baby causes a distinct rumbling sensation in the belly as it shifts. The father can reassure the mother in such moments, because babies rarely turn during medical treatments; they usually turn at night or during quiet moments when the mother is lying or sitting comfortably.

Breech Birth Is Neither Dangerous Nor Automatically Surgical

It is important to understand that a breech presentation is neither dangerous in itself nor does it automatically mean that the child must be delivered by caesarean section. For several years, the caesarean was regarded as the safest option, but the medical profession has since moved away from that assessment. There are now birth centres and clinics that possess extensive experience with natural deliveries of children in the breech position and can accompany parents competently through the process. The parents should therefore inform themselves thoroughly, weigh the various options carefully, and avoid committing prematurely to a single path. With the right accompaniment and preparation, a natural birth is possible even in this position.

The Reality Behind the Word Caesarean Section

The term caesarean section sounds to some like a convenient and straightforward solution, but this perception conceals the true reality of the procedure. What is involved is a major abdominal operation whose consequences for mother and child can be significant both in the immediate aftermath and over the longer term. A planned caesarean should therefore only be considered when it is medically or psychologically unavoidable, in order to prevent worse harm to mother and child. The disadvantages are manifold and affect both the child and the mother to a considerable degree. It is essential to be aware of these facts before any decision is made.

Risks of a Planned Caesarean for the Child

Particularly when the caesarean section is planned and performed before the actual due date, studies show that more children experience breathing difficulties and more frequently require artificial ventilation after birth. Every day the child spends longer in the womb, and every natural contraction, brings it closer to healthy independent breathing, which is why it is always preferable to attempt a natural birth first. During a caesarean section, the baby also misses a vital dose of beneficial bacteria that it would receive along the natural birth path and that are intended to colonise its intestinal tract. These bacteria are important not only for digestion but also for the immune system, for metabolism, and even for the psychological development of the child. Children born by caesarean section therefore show an increased susceptibility to allergies, infections, asthma, and excess weight, and science is only beginning to understand how significant the intestinal flora is for the whole of life right into old age.

Risks of a Caesarean for the Mother

Whoever believes that a caesarean section spares the mother the pain of childbirth is mistaken, because the child must come into the world regardless of the route chosen, and the process will involve pain in either case. With the surgical delivery, the pain merely appears later, because the woman is left with a large abdominal wound in which tissue has been cut and stretched, and it is an illusion to think that this heals without pain. After a caesarean section, holding the baby, carrying it, and even breastfeeding can be significantly more difficult during the initial period. Furthermore, it is a misconception that the caesarean is the safer option, because the risk of serious complications such as heavy blood loss, infections, or other severe problems is three to five times higher than with a natural birth. Subsequent pregnancies are also affected, as women find it more difficult to conceive after a caesarean, further natural births carry additional risks, and the rate of miscarriage is slightly elevated.

Dispelling Myths About Intimacy After Birth

Some fathers worry that something might change in the intimacy of the partnership following a natural birth, but this fear is entirely unfounded. The body of the woman, particularly the birth canal and the uterus, recovers remarkably quickly and completely after a natural delivery. On the contrary, after a caesarean section it can actually take longer before a couple can enjoy physical closeness again, because the scar is sensitive to pain and needs time to heal fully. There is therefore no advantage from this perspective that would speak in favour of a caesarean section. Fathers should not allow themselves to be unsettled by such myths and should instead focus on providing genuine, practical support to their partner during recovery.

The Father’s Role in the Delivery Room

During the birth, everything revolves around the mother and the child, and the sole purpose is to guide both safely through the process. Every person present in the delivery room has a clearly defined role with specific tasks, whether it is the mother, the baby, the midwife, the doctors, or the nursing staff; only for the fathers is the role less clearly defined. Over a very long stretch of human history, giving birth was exclusively a matter for women, and the presence of fathers at the birth is a relatively recent development. Today, many women wish to have their partner at their side, and many men also want to be present when their child enters the world. However, fathers have very few role models or teachers who can show them what matters during labour and how they can best support their partner.

The Positive Impact of the Father’s Presence

The concern that poorly prepared fathers might disturb the birth is unfounded, provided the father has engaged with the topic beforehand and has informed himself adequately. Studies demonstrate that the presence of the partner has a positive effect on the course of labour and results in fewer medical interventions. A familiar person provides the woman in labour with stability and has a calming effect, whereby the level of the stress hormone in her body decreases. Whether the father should be present at the birth can be answered by means of two central questions, both of which should be answered with a clear yes. The first question is whether the partner wishes the father to be there, and the second question is whether the father feels capable of this task and what concerns or fears he harbours and how he can address them.

When the Father Chooses Not to Be Present

If a father, for whatever reasons, does not wish to be present at the birth, or does not wish to be there alone, this is perfectly acceptable and should be acknowledged without any feelings of guilt. A form of support that is actually only a concession and does not stand on firm ground can become a problem during labour and place a burden on the relationship and the young family. In such a case, it is better to consider together with the midwife how the woman can best be supported during the birth. There are various possibilities for expanding the birth team, and the combination of the father together with an experienced birth companion brings many advantages. The woman in labour then has her most important attachment figure alongside her and additionally a knowledgeable companion, while the father is relieved of pressure and can still establish early contact with the child.

Learning from Aviation: The Power of Mental Models

It is known from aviation that people respond significantly better in exceptional situations when they have previously developed a mental model for the emergency. A striking example of this is an incident from the year twenty-ten, in which a large passenger aircraft suffered severe engine damage shortly after take-off and the controls almost completely failed. The crew had intensively rehearsed before the flight what would need to be done in various emergency scenarios and had established clear sequences of action and defined responsibilities. Because all those involved carried a mental model in their minds of what to do in a crisis, the pilot succeeded in bringing the badly damaged machine safely to the ground without anyone sustaining physical injury. This example demonstrates that people with prepared mental models respond more thoughtfully in challenging situations, because their brain can draw upon something it already knows.

Building Mental Models for Life with a Newborn

Expecting parents can adopt this strategy by developing mental models together for the period after the birth and playing through various scenarios in their minds. They can ask themselves who will go to exercise and when, who will meet friends and when, and what will happen if the child refuses a dummy or a bottle and the father cannot soothe it. It is helpful to develop inner pictures of how to remain a team within a relationship under stress and how to negotiate different positions without losing oneself. Parents can ask themselves how they will remain capable of acting when they are tired and exhausted while simultaneously caring for a baby that is teething and cannot sleep. Like the crew of an aircraft, parents can think through these matters together in advance and provide their brains with images to hold on to when the stress becomes overwhelming.