The early bond: How expectant parents build an emotional bridge to the unborn child

The period of pregnancy represents a unique phase of transition, in which a family’s life changes fundamentally. While medical science describes the growing organism in the womb with precise technical terms, a much more intimate process of rapprochement begins for the parents-to-be. It is the moment when the abstract knowledge about the biologicaldevelopment into a concrete, emotional experience. In order to bridge this emotional gap, many families are looking for ways to welcome the still invisible child as a full member of the family before birth and to integrate them into daily life.

Personal approach by naming

In medical jargon, the developing life is referred to as a fetus at the beginning of the fourth month of pregnancy at the latest, which sounds quite impersonal and distant to many people. For this reason, numerous expectant mothers and fathers let their imaginations run free and think about loving pet names for their unborn child. This personal namemakes it easier for parents to talk more naturally about the baby in everyday life or even address it directly and tenderly. This step is of great psychological importance, because when the fifth month, i.e. around the seventeenth week of pregnancy, the child begins to actively hear. It now takes voices, ambient noises or melodic sounds from the outside for the first timetrue and can process it.

The reassuring power of the parental voice

The parents’ familiar voices quickly become a source of security and have a deeply calming effect on the child in the womb. In contrast, the unborn child can be quite frightened and react with restlessness when the noises occur suddenly. Therefore, it is advisable for the parents to speak a lot and with loving emphasis to their child. Even if the babycan not yet understand the words of spoken words, the emotional message still achieves it directly. It perceives that his parents are looking forward to his arrival and want to protect it carefully so that it can develop in peace.

The father’s physical and acoustic connection

Gentle music and the singing of the mother or father also seem to be very appreciated by unborn children. This phase is a particularly good time to establish a conscious contact with the child in the partner’s stomach as a father. This recommendation can be taken literally, because physical closeness is a strong attachment factor. If the pregnant partneragrees, it can be very nice to gently place your hands on the still small mother’s belly. On cold days, however, fathers-to-be should definitely remember to rub their palms together beforehand or to warm them up in a different way to give the pregnant woman a pleasant feeling.

Visualization and the construction of a treasure of songs

It is sufficient if your hands are lying still and calmly on your stomach while you speak to the child in a gentle, loving voice. The sound of a male voice that radiates love, calm and absolute security can enchant both the mother and the child in a wondrous way, which is why any shyness is out of place here. To better find yourself in the speakingPutting the situation in, it can help to imagine the baby vividly. You can close your eyes and gently touch the child in front of your inner eye and close your arms while directing words to it. Since it is more about the emotional sound than the pure content of the words, singing or humming is an excellent alternative.

Open communication and sharing worries

This contact also offers the nice opportunity to dig up old children’s songs that you liked in your own childhood, so that you can now sing them to the unborn child and thus build up a first treasure of songs for the time together. You can and should also talk openly about the child with other people close to you, be it with your own parents, siblingsOr close friends. The atmosphere of conversation does not always have to be characterized by vain sunshine, because that would be unrealistic. Of course, the parents-to-be are looking forward to their child, but it is completely normal for them to worry or worry. When you express these fears openly, you often have a heavy stone from your heart, which means you breathe freely and clear it againcan think.

Haptonomy as a way to conscious touch

In addition, the interlocutors can help with their own experiences or interesting perspectives in order to be able to better classify the situation. In order to get in even more contact with the baby, haptonomy, i.e. the theory of touch, can be a very beautiful and conscious way. With this alternative medical technique, which has hardly been scientifically researched so far andwhose costs are usually not covered by the health insurance companies, it is about targeted perception. It is mainly practiced in France, but there are now also corresponding courses in Germany. A trained therapist shows the parents specifically how they can use their hands to establish a direct connection to the baby over the abdominal wall.

shared experiences and confirmation of attachment

In this context, the father gets to know many different ways of creating a deep well-being through targeted and gentle touch in the child, with the mother and in himself. Even existing siblings can contact the unborn baby under parental guidance through these haptonomic exercises. This shared experience can be given to older childrenVery helpful in getting to know the new sibling while it is still growing in the mother’s stomach. Of course, siblings who don’t feel like doing it or want to withdraw do not necessarily have to take part in these exercises. The original founder of this method, Frans Veldman, described this haptonomic contact as a psychotactile and affectiveconfirming exchange, which is described throughout by experienced birth experts as very touching and deeply joyful.